God knows better.

Sometimes, growth can be painful and make you question if it is for the best.

In my thirty years on this earth, I have faced many situations that I should have seen as opportunities, and I could only see my hurt. A lesson I have struggled over the years with and still try my best to remember, is that, God removes people from our lives because He knows better than we do.

He most certainly sees people for what they truly are and knows their character, and it is likely a huge blessing that we are no longer walking the same path. If you continuously chase a relationship that seems doomed for failure, it is best to leave it be.

I have wasted so much time being upset over people who don’t care about me or my family, and there is so much peace in letting them go.

All the long, drawn-out conversations that go nowhere productive, or the endless attempts to rekindle or repair a relationship that the other person has no genuine interest in mending.

How many times must we be the ones to reach out and try to be the “bigger person.” How many times will you write up a message that you have retyped twenty times over to make sure it was as polite and peaceful as possible, trying so hard, to just be met with a hateful response? Red flag.

Have you tried to seek peace and apologize continuously even if you know you don’t really have anything to apologize for, and they still respond by trying to start drama while claiming they don’t want drama? It's a red flag again.

God is showing you that it is for the best and that you do not need them in your life.

Someone can say they don’t want strife and claim they seek reconciliation, but if their actions prove otherwise, believe their actions. From the start, I have spent so much time and energy trying to piece together utterly one-sided relationships. I would be constantly chasing that affection or acceptance, and for what? There is no point if they don’t want it.

There will always be that person who will be unhappy with you no matter what you do. I have learned it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. They are unhappy with themselves, and it comes out towards people they typically are jealous of. They will never truly like you or want a healthy relationship with you, because they will not want anything but a negative outcome for you. Until they can work through their insecurities or emotional trials, it will never be a healthy relationship.

Sadly, these people are usually like this because of an emotional upset in their own lives that gave them these insecurities and negative qualities. They may have felt insignificant in their home or school life as a child and, therefore, seek attention to an unhealthy level. They may have been mentally or physically abused, and now they seek to control the situation, no matter the circumstance, because it gives them a sense of peace. They could have been bullied by someone close to them whom they admired deeply, and now they push away healthy relationships. They could have been someone that their upbringing was centered around them, and it makes it hard for them to have perspective or want to share attention with anyone else.

Whatever the origin, it cannot always be repaired or even pushed in a healthy direction by someone they have grown to see in a jealous or negative light because of their insecurities.

The only thing I have found that I can do that is positive and biblical is pray for them. Pray that they work through whatever turmoil they need to resolve within themselves. I also pray that they can find healthy, genuine happiness and not be reliant on others being beneath or controlled by them. I pray for those around them and have relationships with them, that they remain healthy, be a source of healing for them, and maybe a route to repairing the pattern. Most of all, I pray they can see themselves the way God sees them and see the ones around them with a clear mind.

I hope whoever reads this, whether they are the person chasing the relationship or the person pushing away the relationship. I hope it brings you comfort, perspective, or whatever it is you need for healing. I wish I could have seen past emotions years ago, to see what is good for myself and what it not. But then again, we all face situations that grow us in ways we don’t expect, so maybe it was a blessing in disguise!